Saturday, June 16, 2018

Get Real With Yourself - A Conversation About Deception



“Self-evaluation is good, 
but it always comes with changes.”
- Unknown


Today I’m going to talk about something that is close to my heart. I try to maintain integrity in this area as much as I can because it is literally the “fountain of life”. I know that if I begin to wander from this principle I could easily deceive myself and derail my own success. So, I try to be open and honest especially when it comes to this. I’m talking about self-evaluation.


I can tell you from experience that it’s EASY to ignore feedback that doesn’t align with how you see yourself. It’s easy to excuse your bad behavior or dismiss your constant shortcomings. Why? Because we judge ourselves based on our intentions not our actions. It’s a form of self-protection. This can be good if we are real with ourselves and acknowledge the good and bad of what we do and who we are. However, if we choose to only acknowledge the good things we do and our good intentions rejecting the other side of us that isn't always "good" we run the risk of deceiving ourselves.


I want to challenge you to invest in yourself by first, being honest in your self-examination. I know that you value integrity, but do you practice it? I know that you appreciate quality work and a hard work ethic, but do you work hard, or are you constantly checking your social media accounts to ensure that you’re in the loop? Are you challenging yourself to go the extra mile, or do you only expect people to go the extra mile for you? I don’t want you to tell me the answer to these questions; I’m simply asking to help you find a starting place for your sober self-evaluation. No human can give you a test to determine whether you’re being honest with yourself or not. Only you can dig deep enough to figure that out.


“Are you becoming the person you want to be
or do you just talk about it?”
- Tee Forever

You see, the truth is that talking will never replace doing. In order to see results you have to start working. It is a principle in life! Tell me, how do trees come into fruition? Someone has to put in work. Someone has to till the soil, plant a seed for the specific type of tree they want to grow, and then care for it. They need to nourish it with water and sunlight, things which are conducive to producing the results they want. Well, WE are the same way! If you want to build an empire or develop yourself, you have to identify exactly what it is that you want to develop within yourself and then start working towards it, not merely talk about it.


Honesty with yourself is the foundation of personal development. You are capable of accomplishing ANYTHING you dream about, you just have to be ready to back it up consistent action and integrity. Until next time,


Xoxo,

Theresa Forever
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Saturday, June 9, 2018

Invest In Yourself


"The only person you are 
destined to become is 
the person you decide to be."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you've been a part of this community you know that I'm all about developing and challenging yourself to stop dreaming and start doing. You also understand the importance of continual growth and you're actively pushing yourself to live up to your full potential and maximize your life.

Every month we do a monthly personal development challenge and so far we've learned more about ourselves through self-awareness (May 2018), pushed ourselves to crush our  goals through self-discipline (April 2018), and we forced ourselves to develop our ability to focus in order to maximize results (February 2018).

If you'd like a full review of the challenges we've done this year you can check them out here.

Now for this month's challenge we are going to invest in ourselves. This simply means we're going to choose an area we want to strengthen in our life, character, business (or whatever else you chose). Then we're going to get to work and start investing in ourselves by doing whatever it takes (without compromising our integrity) to get the results we want. We have to be completely sold on the idea, count the cost, and be willing to pay the price.

"Don't stop until 
you get the results you want."
- Tee Forever

Action Step 1: Decide WHAT you want to accomplish. Clearly identify exactly what area of your life you want to focus on. This includes your family relationships, finances, business, character, spirituality, etc.

After you've decided the area you will work on, clarify exactly what it is within that goal you want to strengthen. So, for example, the are you choose to focus on could be business growth. Now you have to specify which aspect of your business you want to strengthen or develop. Is it customer relationships, marketing, or finances?

Action Step 2: Create a plan. HOW are you going to accomplish what you wrote in action step 1? Who can you connect with to help you make this happen? What book can you read that'll help you get your mind in the right place to get amazing results? Who has done it before you and is willing to give you feedback? Or what kind of character do you need to be able to get those results? What exactly do you want and how will you do/get it?

Action Step 3: Don't try to implement action step 2 on your own. Find a reliable ACCOUNTABILITY partner. Now, I know that some of you are thinking..."I don't know anyone that has time to help me, is interested in personal growth, or is a goal-getter." Stop right there. You don't know who is able to help you until you open your mouth and ASK for it! You don't know what people are capable of or what their goals are until you start talking to them about stuff like that. You are surrounded by people with big dreams who would love to help you, you just don't know it yet.

Everyone is born a dreamer. We all have things we want to accomplish in life, we all desire more than what we currently have and experience. You just have to reach out and ask someone you trust to hold you accountable to getting results in this one area of your life for the next 30 days. Are you with me?

"Life is what you make it
so create something great."
- Tee Forever

We can't afford to live in fear, self-doubt, or comparison anymore. This month, let's focus on investing in ourselves so that we can maximize our time on earth. You ready? Let's do it! Until next time,

Xoxo!

Theresa Forever




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Think Less Of Yourself - Choose Humility


Welcome back!

"True humility is not thinking less of yourself. 
It's thinking of yourself less."

- C.S Lewis

You guys KNOW that I will never talk about anything that I haven't practiced or experienced. With every lesson that I learn (or am currently learning) I let you in on the scoop! So, today is no different.

Since we started the self-awareness challenge this month I've been tested SEVERAL times. It's crazy! I notice an area of weakness that's hindering my growth and I commit to working on it and it's like the next day I'm being tested in the EXACT area I committed to working on! Has anyone else been experiencing this?! Comment below and let me know!

So, although I value humility and I dream about being one of the most humble people on earth (lol jokes! but I really do value it) I HAVE PRIDE ISSUES!! Let me pause right here. Lol, I know that for some of you this isn't a big deal but guys


PRIDE 

IS 

UGLY! 

It's so destructive. It'll kill your potential before you even realize that it's happening. So, what I'm doing to prevent it from consuming my life is that I've set up some serious guards and "heart protectors." (As you read on you'll understand what I mean by heart protectors).

"Humility is not denying your strengths, 
humility is about being honest about your weaknesses."
- Rick Warren

Heart protector # 1: 

I choose to mentally put others above myself. This simply means that in all of my relationships I choose to view every conversation and situation from the other person's perspective. I intentionally walk in their shoes and I actually try to be more understanding. 

This is not me thinking less of myself because I think highly of others. No. Everyone has value. Acknowledging another person's value will never diminish mine. In the same way, acknowledging another woman's beauty won't take away from mine. Does that make sense?

This has not only changed me as a person and enhanced my character, but it's also resulted in 100% LESS ARGUMENTS, faster resolutions, and less time being stressed, angry, or unhappy. Every time that I feel myself  drifting back to auto-pilot and being self-centered in my approach, I think about the deep loneliness I felt prior to making the change and how much satisfaction and wholeness I feel now after doing this for a little while.

Heart protector #2:

Give without demanding a return. This is still a challenge for me sometimes because as humans, we have a natural inclination to protect ourselves and do what's best for us. However, when I look at situations from the other person's perspective (heart protector # 1), I'm able to show compassion, understanding, and humility without expecting the same favor.

Woooooou! Isn't that AMAZING! Can you imagine that?

I'm not being held captive to a secret expectation that I have for others to love me the way that I love them or give me gifts worth the same value that I give them. No. I freely give love, compassion, mercy, and understanding to others simply because I WANT TO.

This is true personal freedom!

I know this post probably isn't as long as some of my other posts, but this is power-packed with some deep truths that can really change your life. So, I'm going to let you guys consider everything that I've talked about and figure out how to implement this in your life in your own way.

As always, I love connecting with you! Thanks for sharing, commenting, and subscribing! You're the best and I'm happy I get to be a part of your journey! Until next time,

 Xoxo!

Theresa Forever


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Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Be Patient With Yourself



"Strength and growth come only
through continuous effort and struggle."
 - Napolean Hill

We've come to the end of our 30-day self-awareness challenge so you know I have to ask, what did you unlock within yourself? Do you have a better understanding of your triggers and areas that you will continue to work on? Did the exercise that I shared in the first post help get you started? What have you achieved over the last 30 days?

I can say for myself that although I uncovered many of my strengths, I've also found many traits and characteristics that I need to work on. I'm no longer unaware of the side of me that is lazy which effects the overall quality of my life and success. I'm no longer ignorant of the prideful and self-sabotaging tendencies that I am now correcting. Living in the dark requires less work, but choosing to be self-aware brings healing.

Now, as we move forward to the next personal development challenge (for next month) you have to maintain your current progress while also building on it. So, if self-awareness is something you want to sustain, commit to these three things.

1. Journal

Having a journal helps you to empty your mind and organize your thoughts. Consider this, how do you feel when you have 1,001 things to do and your list is only in your mind? Like you're forgetting to do something or like you're falling behind, right? Well, it's the same idea when you carry around all of your thoughts throughout the day. It can cause you to feel overwhelmed or stressed out, especially if your day isn't going according to plan. Journaling will help you to identify unhealthy patterns and triggers in your life/mind that you're currently unaware of.

2. Self-Awareness Exercise

Remember the exercise that I shared on day 1 of our challenge? (if not, you can download it here). The purpose of these exercises is to help you identify things that are triggers for you. Example: for me, sunny, warm weather triggers a craving for burgers or something sweet like a popsicle. Now that I'm aware of this trigger I'm more careful about what I chose to eat on warm, summer-like days. I also intentionally increase my water consumption to lower my desire for unhealthy things. 

You have to find out what triggers different emotions for you and create a way to maintain and maximize your mental peace and overall satisfaction/gratitude in life. Do these exercises at least once a month.

3. Change 

This one is the most important. If you journal and do the self-awareness exercises but choose to ignore or dismiss areas you NEED to work on, you will not grow. You will only maximize your life when you're humble and teachable. Listen, finding an area that needs improvement is only half the battle. Working on yourself and making the necessary changes completes the picture. If you see what needs to change and do nothing about it you're only deceiving yourself.

"Personal growth means personal evolution. 
We have to evolve from the person we are now 
to the person we know we're capable of becoming."
- Tee Forever


After you've done all that you can, be patient with yourself. We all know that growth doesn't happen overnight and it took us a while to become who are so it will take us some time to become who we want to be! Until next time,

Xoxo!

Theresa Forever




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Saturday, May 19, 2018

Face Your Challenges



"You will never grow passed 
the challenges you face 
until you face your challenges."
- Tee Forever

Challenges are usually the last thing we welcome in our lives. If we're honest, most of us prefer comfort, promotion and favor over challenging situations, but here's the truth: Challenges are always directly related to our next promotion. Write this down. When we fight to avoid challenges we delay our personal progress. On the other hand when we accept challenges, the personal growth and maturity we experience always surpasses the discomfort the challenge revealed.

Over the course of this month, while I dug deep into self-awareness I discovered a lot of hidden junk. While I unpacked all of this I was challenged with how I would move forward. For one, I could ignore it and pretend like I was never aware of my struggles, resulting in self-denial and self-destruction. Or two, I could acknowledge it and clean it up which would cost me a lot of effort and time upfront, but the results would be more rewarding than what the process cost me. Does that make sense?

Choosing to process the destructive habits, mindsets and beliefs I carry not only liberates me to live authentically, but it also propels me into my next level of challenges and rewards. It's truly a worthy journey when you think about all of the benefits. If you'd like to join in on the self-awareness challenge this month you can start by reading Self-Awareness: The Breakthrough To Your Personal Freedom .

As I've initiated this journey here are some challenges I've encountered that you may experience as well.

1. A Biased Perspective

It's always hard to find what you don't know exists. Sometimes even after you've found it, it's hard to believe it. Finding fault in others is almost too easy, but when we try to soberly evaluate ourselves things can get complicated. We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions but not by our actions. This produces cloudy judgement.

What I've practiced on and off over the years is asking for feedback from some of the most trusted people in my life that are closest to me like my husband. I also ask mentors to freely point out anything they see that could hinder me in the future. I'll be honest, it's not always easy hearing constructive feedback. I'm not always in the mood to hear about how I could've handled something better, but if you trust your inner circle and they have some of the qualities you wish to embody, then embrace your process and choose growth over comfort.

2. Struggle With Self-Acceptance

After you clearly identify the goal (area(s) of improvement), you have to be careful to remain balanced while accepting the truth. Here's what I mean. To remain balanced you must accept your good and bad characteristics while not leaning towards either side or punishing yourself for not being where you want to be yet.

"Accept who you are right now 
& be patient with yourself. 
Progress only comes 
with one good decision at a time." 
- Tee Forever

3. Taking Personal Responsibility

Once you recognize the area(s) that needs improvement it's your responsibility to change. Accept the challenge and develop yourself. Someone wise once said "don't decrease the goal, increase the effort." You will only become better when you allow the challenges you face to mold you into a smarter, more capable, better version of yourself. The onus is on you to do something with the knowledge you've acquired about yourself. No one can or will force you to change. Choose growth over comfort.

Don't allow the thought of hard work to discourage you from growing! Allow unbiased people into your inner circle and let them examine you. Accept your current state of growth and enjoy your process.

When you find an area that needs to be improved learn about how you can strengthen that area and implement the changes. Only you can deepen your self-awareness and change your life. Until next time.

Xoxo!
Theresa Forever



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